Manipulative Me

guilt
what do I own
what is owned by others
suspecting some inevitable crossover

shame
I said how I felt to ease my own  snarl and others noticed and loved
I felt power and shame
shame that I scare people
shame that people worry for me
power that what i said caused someone to notice
shame rinses away the love
shame is the straightener
shame cuts and hones itself

worry and love
either skims over treacherous airs and waters
i the perfect skipping stone
i miss (escape?)  purchase
i elude capture
capture could prove better
but is clearly chance-ridden

so elusion and ill-usion remain