I seek it everywhere, everyday. My own Scarlet Pimpernel, the message, the armot-piercing bullet that passses through my kevlar defense - love, you are worthy Kelly, you can feel peace, you can feel happiness. So far, no response, a voice and ear straining for the slightest sound. I fear it is too late, kind words made me saddder, praise slides off unabsorbed. My kevlar - undeterred - thickens. I feel bad.
I need just to plug into this thing and have it identify, assess, translate all these feelings, it's a big mess in there, anger, sadness, despair, hate, for starters. but not love, just ugliness. My spirit rises only to be crushed under a tiny, ridiculous bootheel. For a few moments there was happiness, a sense of accomplishment, som hope, hey it's gonna be ok. No as it turns out. it will never be.
christmas past - it's a few weeks yet 'til christmas, but we are putting up the tree tonight. this is unplanned, but the tree is in the yard, up against the house, and why ...
5 weeks ago