Still here. Not enough energy to leave.
Learning more and more about how little I know: about me, about everything.
I don't feel loved. Complicating this: I wouldn't recognize it if I was loved. Also, I don't feel loveable anyway.
I feel alone and lonely, I feel too far gone. How can I learn to love myself when I have no experience of feeling love or loved? It's a deep hole I've dug. A series of caves and passages and chambers. I'm deeply hidden. Deeply damaged.
I cannot even imagine what feeling healthy - aka depression and ptsd-free - would feel like.
Good night.
winter to spring
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this winter has been so gloriously mild. lots of greens and browns on the
landscape rather than white. when it has snowed, it's been a flaky snowfall
that...
3 weeks ago